Internet Dating

There are several constants present in the people I tend to find interesting on internet dating sites. Several constants that ultimately turn me off or confound me.

1. Everyone LOVES camping: I’ve never been camping, I’ve been to camp, but I’ve never been camping. There is a reason I’ve never been camping…it doesn’t sound like much fun to me. Yet, the people on internet dating sites can’t get enough of camping. They love love it. Given the choice between doing something that I might find fun like walking around the city at night, and squatting next a fire in the middle of the bug-infested wilderness, they would rather squat. Not to mention the fact that I don’t have the time to plan camping excursions…it’s not the kind of thing you just up and say “hey, I’m gonna go camping this weekend.” Is it?

2. Everyone speaks several languages: I don’t have any problem with someone who speaks more than one language, but I’ll be damned if it doesn’t make me feel dumb. Would I like to be able to speak Portuguese, or Japanese, or German? Sure, but who has the time?

3. Everyone is very well traveled: People constantly talk about how many countries they’ve been to. I still haven’t left the US, then again I’ve spent the better part of the last 10 years either in school or struggling to make ends meet. When I have money and time, I’ll travel.

4. Kids: I can’t stand reading a profile and getting interested only to find out that the person has kids. I’m sorry if that makes me seem insensitive or cliche…a guy who doesn’t want to date a woman with kids, but I’m not sure I want kids and I certainly don’t want to date someone who has kids. Kids open up a whole new level of relationship baggage that I’m not ready for.

In general it seems that the majority of people I have any interest in online are earthy individuals, who studied something boring, but extremely marketable in college thus allowing them the time and money to travel and learn many languages along the way. Oh and some of them had kids during the whole process. I studied something I enjoyed, and spent the next 7 years after college trying to get a job I liked. I haven’t travelled, I don’t speak many foreign tongues, and I certainly don’t have or want kids. It’s like my generation is split between the people who graduated and then proceeded to live their 20’s like they were going to be dead very soon and the people who probably would have done that if they had the time and the money to do so. I’m not even 30 yet and already it seems like the dating pool has thinned to completely uninteresting people and bored overachievers. Where the fuck are the normal people and how can I date them?

Balls

People need to learn (in general) that if you want to get rid of someone for whatever reason, you really just need to tell them to leave you alone. You need to tell them that you’re not interested, or whatever, especially if you’ve already established some kind of connection with this person where they may not except that you’ve suddenly decided that they should disappear. Ignoring someone really isn’t the answer, just say something…anything, because if they’re anything like me, ignoring them doesn’t work. I’m smart enough to assume someone’s disinterest (even when it turns out I’m in error…because I’m a pessimist like that) after a certain length of unreturned correspondence, but I need to know why. Ignoring me isn’t going to work, so just give me the cut and dry. If you’re a woman and we’ve met online then you’ve probably met someone else…in fact in my experience, you’ve probably gotten back together with an old boyfriend or realized that the guy who you spend all your time with who you never thought of as a boyfriend before would actually be the best match for you instead. Whatever. Just say something, because I’m not gonna disappear. It’s not enough just to know that I’ve failed, I need to know why.